Life was going along at a rapid + awesome pace & then BOOM! Something knocked me down. Kicked my butt AND punched me in the face at the same time. Sucked the air from my lungs. Left me feeling broken...or at least bruised pretty badly. And there I sat. Wondering when the energy or desire to pick myself back up would come along.
What I'm learning is that it doesn't work that way. My passion for life doesn't come to my rescue when I am feeling down & wondering what the heck happened. I can want it, dream about it, think about, pray for it, meditate on it, beg for it, be open to it, wait for it, scream at it ("Like really...WHERE ARE YOU?!"), or mope that it hasn't arrived yet. But none of that brings the passion any closer to me.
What I'm learning is that my passion is waiting too. Waiting for me to take a step. To get out of bed. To move forward with tear-stained cheeks and shallow breathing as I adjust to the new place I am in, following the butt-kicking & face-punching I just survived.
My passion is big & fiery & full of joy...which means it cannot take a step backwards to meet me where I am. It needs me to move forward to meet it. To WANT to fill the bigger shoes I have dreamed for myself. To CRAVE the new "Justice League" of superhero friends I have wished for that will push me & grow me even when it's hard. To step past the hurt & fear (because who wants to risk being hurt again after barely surviving the last time) KNOWING that I am stronger because of what I've learned, NOT weaker because it happened.
My passion is bold. My passion is brilliant. My passion has it's own cape & is a SERIOUSLY big deal. So it can't step backwards into my pain. Into my fear. Into my hurt. Into my uncertainty. Into my self-doubt.
But it can stand firm where it is, ready to meet me when I am ready to move. Past the hurt. Through the fear. Despite the uncertainty. Ignoring the self-doubt. Ready to try again with a new awareness of who I am and what I am capable of.
My passion is my biggest fan. And when the pain of wanting to meet up with it again outweighs the comfort & safety of staying in bed alone where I can't be hurt again...I know the reunion will be fan-freakin'-tastic!
I share this because I know I am not the only one who has been stepped on, crushed, kicked-to-the-curb, betrayed, belittled, dismissed, or diminished. And if sharing the hurt helps even one person get out of bed again a little faster...then well...I guess I'd have to say the whole damned thing was worth it. And since I hate to waste anything...might as well share the low points of my journey too, right?
We got this, ya'll. Knowing we are not alone may just be the boost we need to keep moving forward. My passion isn't the only one waiting around the corner. YOUR passion is waiting too. Bolder, bigger, braver, & badder than you could POSSIBLY imagine.
I don't know about you...but I'm feeling like it's time to reunite. Who's with me?!